


Super Villains Are Better in Bed, It's Just a Fact

by anarchycox



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Body Worship, M/M, Men in love, Multiple Orgasms, Porn With Feels, Porn With Plot, Role Playing, Superpowers Used For Sex, men being a bit goofy, minor stockholm syndrome, past body shaming, previously agreed upon dub-con, previously negotiated sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 09:53:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22494121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: Former super villain Merlin and former superhero sidekick Eggsy celebrate the anniversary of their getting together with a bit of role playing.  They aren't particularly great at role playing but they are great at sex.
Relationships: Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Comments: 40
Kudos: 194
Collections: Fic Fights Fire





	Super Villains Are Better in Bed, It's Just a Fact

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Eggsyobsessed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eggsyobsessed/gifts).



Eggsy wiggled and wiggled, and it had always been a wiggle to get the bloody uniform on, but it was taking a bit more wiggle over his thighs and arse than he remembered. It had been over a year since he had tried the uniform on, and well, it seemed that he had changed a bit. Regular meals with no denied carbs did that. And he was still fit as fuck, but he didn’t quite look like he had before. Like how he did when Merlin had first kidnapped him. 

Like how he had when he had been a superhero.

Well, sidekick.

Powerless sidekick.

He had been goddamn Robin. And hated every second of it. If they had told him that honing his gymnastics skills would lead to being ‘adopted’ by a superhero, and trained to be a sidekick, he woulda bailed. Superheroes were assholes. Thank fuck Merlin had kidnapped him. 

But he had thought it would be fun to roleplay a bit. Super villain cornering the sidekick, kidnapping him. Threatening him and maybe even tying him up. Merlin was so good at tying you up. Not a single rope burn ever. Was a quality day when the Wizard of Hell kidnapped you. So much better than Doctor Danger, or The Scarlet Maniac. They were rubbish at knots. But Wizard of Hell, it was a padded chair in the empty warehouse, the good nylon rope, well laid out. Also decent drugs, not the shite stuff that gave you a three day hangover. Even gave you water, no excess violence.

All the sidekicks agreed, you wanted your super to be fighting with the WoH; swear down you got better treatment with him than your super some days. Supers wanted you to be perfect, weigh ins, training, always be ready to be kidnapped, to be sacrificed, for the big heroics.

Captain Honour had burned through three sidekicks before Eggsy. Why the sidekick wore a mask and in his case a wig. Can’t have people knowing their supers were balls.

The uniform snapped into place and he frowned at how the seams strained a bit. And the frown turned into a bit of a pout. Maybe he should lay off the dinner rolls a bit. But Merlin baked them special for him. It had been the third time Merlin had kidnapped him, and a couple of his men, the Knights of the Underworld, were eating these sandwiches on homemade bread, and Eggsy had been noticeably salivating through his gag. Merlin had stalked over, and cut the gag away. “Problem?”

Eggsy had been on a restricted 1000 calories a day for a week, because the Captain had thought he hadn’t photographed well after foiling a bank robbery. “Carbs,” he had moaned.

Merlin had frowned. “Do they offend you?”

“No I just might come if I actually got a nibble of bread.” Eggsy couldn’t believe he had said that. “I mean…” He had been so hungry. “No, that is what I meant.” He had watched Merlin go over and then return with a bit of the bread. “Huh?”

“Have some bread lad. It generally takes the Captain about 5 hours to rescue you, though he’s slowing down a bit.”

“Yeah, pretty sure he wants you to kill me so he can get a new model,” Eggsy had replied. “I’ve been getting too chunky for a sidekick.”

“Excuse me?” Merlin had said. “Heroes are still on on that shite? I’ve seen you get up a four story building with nothing but your fingers.” His gaze had been crazy intense, long black hair flowing to his shoulders. “To do that sort of thing your body needs complex carbs to burn. Do you want more?”

He had very much wanted more. “Nah, I’m fine,” Eggsy had said. “Should put the gag back in. Not like he’ll be here quickly, I mean if I can’t be on time for a press conference, why should he be on time for a rescue, right?” He had wondered what that look on the WoH’s face was, but the man was unreadable. And the Captain had come a few hours later, and put on a good show.

Eggsy had been confined to quarters for a couple weeks.

A month later he had been kidnapped by the WoH again, which was odd, because he and the Captain had mostly been facing off against Barnacle Bob, as Eggsy liked to call the guy. And the kidnapping had been weird. He wasn’t drugged, just stuffed into the back of a car and there had sat the WoH. “Hiya?”

“Hello, Eggsy.”

“Sorry, who?” Eggsy had smiled blankly. “My name is Lieutenant Loyalty.”

“Also thought that was a rubbish name. Now then, Eggsy, you aren’t looking well.”

“Captain’s been a bit annoyed. Couple villains keep getting away. You for instance. He really hates you these days.”

“That warms my heart,” he had smiled, and fuck it was a super villain maniacal grin if ever there was one, and it shouldn’t have made the uniform uncomfortably tight, but it did. “Eggsy, you can feel that this is different can’t you?”

“Yeah, you aren’t scheduled as the mortal enemy right now.” Average people didn’t know but heroics and villainy was a lot closer to professional wrestling than anything else. A fair bit was fixed. But didn’t mean the stakes weren’t real. He always expected to end up dead in an alley. It would make great press for the Captain a vow of revenge.

“No, I am not. But I am kidnapping you. He calls you Gary, no matter how many times you tell him you prefer Eggsy.”

“I don’t matter, in the end, yeah?”

“You matter to me.”

Eggsy had believed him. “So you what, are kidnapping me for real?” He snickered a bit.

“I am, and please, call me Merlin.”

He had taken Eggsy to a nice but not insanely posh flat, with the most insane security that would have made any super jealous. “Thought you were elemental magic.”

“I am, but I also have a phd in computer science,” Merlin explained. “It is where 60% of my money comes from.”

“That and the huge bank job four years ago.”

“That was actually retirement savings for my knights. A few have gone on, a handful have decided to stay close. I am prepping towards retirement. You were in fact the last piece of that particular puzzle.”

“Blackmailing the Captain to giving you ransom money?” Eggsy had rolled his eyes. “He’ll never pay.”

“No, a different sort of piece.” Merlin had taken him through the flat. Which was honestly a lot cozier than Eggsy had expected. It wasn’t a villain lair. It was a home. With really comfortable looking couches. And blankets everywhere. Fuck he wanted to lie down. He had been taken to a room, and it was just perfect. His space at the Captain’s santcum was bare, boring. 

A cell.

This was a dream. His favourite colours, a huge bed, with a goddamn pug on it, snoring loudly. He had always wanted a pug. “My apologies, but the psychic in my group read you a bit on your various kidnappings. Had this set up for you.”

“I don’t understand?” Eggsy had looked at him. “Is this a kidnapping or a marriage proposal?”

“I’d be very honoured to marry you, Eggsy.”

“What?” Eggsy had blinked and then pinched himself, because no fucking way did the strongest villain in England actually fucking say that. “Shut up.”

“I fell in love with you the second time I kidnapped you,” Merlin had replied. “I could see how much being a hero was hurting you. Because given a chance you could be a good hero. But good and heroes seldom go together.”

“Bruv, you don’t love me, you don’t even know me.”

“You like the bread I bake.”

“You made that bread?”

“I’ll bake you fresh bread every day.”

“Fuck, why’d you have to say romantic shit like that? I’ve seen you actually boil a man’s internal organs inside him. You can’t just offer to make me bread every day.” Eggsy had gone and sat on the bed. “You make pumpernickel? I kinda like that one.”

“I can,” Merlin had said. He had went and sat on the ground across from Eggsy. One hand was encased in flame, the other ice. “You are right. I have used my powers to be a very bad man. I have killed many people, stolen 1/8th of the GDP of the entire UK and technically lead a questionable revolution that brought about a mass extinction of a plant a galaxy over. And I have about 78 unpaid parking bills. Since 70 of them are for stolen cars, I’ve ignored them. But see this?” He had held up the hands and in a blink the magic was gone. “When I retire, with you hopefully, all that ends. No more murder, planetary annihilation. I’ll pay my parking tickets. I have a business set up for website development and computer security. With everything I’ve stolen over the last 3 decades, we don’t even need that to break even. You could come work with me, Galahad has opened a tailor shop, Percival a bookstore and Lancelot, she has the art supply shop next to it. We are all going to be utterly normal. You could be normal with us.”

“Until some super offers a challenge that you can’t resist,” Eggsy had said. “No villain goes straight. They just go dead.”

“Not true, at least four of the big villain deaths? All faked. The Darkness? He’s a bloody accountant now, and Lady Death owns a beauty parlour. It is the supers who can’t let go, not us.”

“I don’t know you,” Eggsy had said. “Beyond all the stupid, scary wrong shit.”

Merlin had pulled off his wig, popped out his contacts, put the heavy framed glasses on. “Hello my name Marcus Niven, Merlin to my friends. It is a pleasure to meet you, Eggsy.” He had held out his hand.

Eggsy had looked at him. “Yeah, okay. So Merlin, how do you take your tea?”

A week later the nation had mourned as Lieutenant Loyalty died a shocking death, where he sacrificed his life to destroy the Wizard of Hell. Eggsy sort of loved the statue the city put up of him, had to drive the Captain crazy that Eggsy had a statue. Merlin had created an all new identity for him, and Eggsy had tried out everyone’s businesses, and found he actually liked splitting his time between the tailor shop and the bookstore. Stealing supplies from Roxy. Turned out he was not bad at drawing. Merlin had bought him a few thousand pounds of supplies and online courses. He made Eggsy bread whenever Eggsy wanted it, and did indeed settle into a life as an IT nerd.

They had gotten married three months ago, and that was a weird ass party, because most of the crowd was retired super villains. Which honestly the villains, sure they were all evil and shit, but fuck they were so much chiller than the supers. One night Merlin had asked if he missed saving people.

“Nah, I mean a little, but I seldom was allowed to do anything. My job was to make him look good more than anything else. I was trained for it, being a sidekick. Didn’t realize, thought I was training for the Olympics, but well, they don’t want to tell you they are training you to die to make a bloke who can fly look good.”

“Do you miss the gymnastics?”

“The way I did it, yeah, the way he had me do it, nope.” Eggsy wasn’t surprised when within a month the penthouse of the building their flat was in was converted to a gym. Handy Merlin owning the building, and a stake in the third largest construction company in the country. Eggsy had gone back to the sort of workouts he liked. Mostly so that he could eat more of the bread that Merlin made.

And that bread was to blame for why the old outfit wasn’t quite fitting now. Why it pulled and stretched and looked like a shite copy. It had been a stupid fucking idea to celebrate the day Merlin had kidnapped him for the last time, with a bit of role play. But he had asked and in their year together, he couldn’t actually think of a time Merlin had said no to him.

Merlin really should. He’d have to ask Merlin sometimes to say no to his requests. Watching Merlin sort that out could be fun.

“Christ, had I forgotten how fucking ugly this uniform was?” Eggsy looked in the mirror, and then at the door as it opened. “Was it always this ugly?”

“It was,” Merlin smiled a bit. “But to be fair, I couldn’t find any of the old wigs, or the coat. This will have to do.”

“Oh you mean my fit as fuck husband, wearing leather trousers and boots and the chains that used to wrap around his arms? Yeah it will ‘do’,” Eggsy flailed his arms a bit and cursed when he heard a seam stretch. “Fucking hell. No making me bread for two weeks, babe, I mean it.”

“I’m sorry, but you aren’t allowed to abuse your body like that. Like how it was before.” Merlin came over and Eggsy leaned when Merlin came up behind him and they both looked in the mirror. “You are at an actual reasonable body weight now, Eggsy. The doctor said you were malnourished when I took you. That uniform? Did he even have it resized to fit you or just expect you to be the same size as all the previous sidekicks?”

“I know,” Eggsy sighed. “If he knew a mission was coming up, I was denied water for 24 hours so that the strategically thin ready to tear fabric around the waist would reveal perfect abs. The get a superheroes body fitness programs bring in half his damn revenue.”

“You are fucking perfect,” Merlin kissed his neck. “Now then I have told everyone that the gym is off limits for the next two hours. Cameras have been blanked out. Lieutenant Loyalty, dare you to try to get away from my evil clutches.” Merlin tried for an evil laugh and sounded like the count from Sesame Street.

Eggsy giggled. “Okay, no wonder you never laughed when you would monologue.”

“Get running so I can catch you,” Merlin said right into his ear and Eggsy shivered. He bolted for their personal elevator up to the gym and looked around it. The windows were coated so that they could see out and no one could see in. See most of the city, sometimes they sat there with popcorn and watch villain hero sky battles, critiquing their form. Eggsy stretched and loosened up. If Merlin was planning this, there would already be lube and whatever up here. They hadn’t actually had sex up here before, too many of Merlin’s old crew used it as their gym and they sometimes kept random hours.

They had become his family, the Knights of the Underworld; he had made them a Christmas roast, and they had all worn their Christmas cracker crowns and gotten tipsy and the villains had all gone fast and loose with their powers until Percival accidentally spilled that Eggsy wanted a baby. He had never seen a room empty so fast; pretty sure Roxy had teleported everyone the fuck out. And Merlin had just shrugged and said that he knew a guy who could steal them a baby. Eggsy had suggest maybe they’d look into adoption or surrogacy in a few months, and remember Merlin stealing babies is a villain thing, which is a thing you don’t do anymore.

He had kept his promise and was 100% legit.

Well 90% legit, but fuck the filth and their parking tickets.

The doors blasted open and oh fuck, Eggsy was half hard in an instant. Merlin wasn’t glowing, he had never glowed, but when he was using his powers there was this crackle of energy around him. “Well now what do we have here?”

Eggsy actually groaned. Merlin’s villain voice. Fuck he hadn’t heard it in a year. It was a bit more American, to hide the Scottish. He sounded too fake when doing English, it was weird. “You,” Eggsy hissed. He slowly backed up. “Captain said you’d be back for your revenge.”

“Revenge is such a funny thing, isn’t it? You think me the villain, because of a few circumstances I was involved in.”

“You sent the entire city of Lisbon to an alternate reality.”

“Did anyone really miss it?”

“Uh yeah, whole city people kind of missed it. But Captain saved the day, because he always does,” Eggsy stood his ground, and glared. “And he’s going to save me.”

“See, he’s a little busy. My knights have taken over the Tower of London, and have brought back beheading parliament.”

“You bastard.”

“Now now, some of them definitely deserve it,” Merlin pointed out. He wasn’t moving forward, but Eggsy knew he’d be ready to spring in an instant. “And revenge is not what I am interested in today.”

“What are you interested in?” Eggsy was assessing the room, as if he was planning the best escape route. Mostly he was picturing what piece of equipment he wanted Merlin to fuck him against. The mats were the most obvious choice but he thought that perhaps the pommel horse could be fun. The balance bar. Hmmm, the rings could be interesting but tiring, maybe one of the balls? So many fun options. He was so busy thinking about the options that he hadn’t noticed Merlin moving and now he was right there, his breath warm against Eggsy’s cheek. “Eep,” was what came out of his throat, and he really wished that a more heroic noise had happened. 

“I am interested in you, Loyalty,” Merlin whispered. “Because you think no one saw, but I did. I saw you push Lancelot out of the way. Yes, she could have teleported but that doesn’t matter, you tried to save her - a villain, and I will repay that debt.”

“You could turn yourself into the law,” Eggsy suggested. Eggsy shivered because somehow Merlin was even closer. 

“My debt isn’t to the law, it is to you. A personal debt. I would like to make you happy, satisfied.” Oh god, Merlin bit his ear. Fuck he always melted for that. “How on earth can I make a lonely, touch starved, sweet little sidekick like you feel happy?” One cold finger went up and down his arm. Eggsy shivered.

“Not lonely. Got the Captain don’t I?”

“Does he even speak to you off hours other than to berate you? Wouldn’t you like to worshiped, praised, hungered for like you deserve?”

“You don’t have hypnotic powers. Not on the list.” But Eggsy felt entirely entranced. Uniform fit aside, this is absolutely what he had wished happened during one of those early kidnappings. He should have known he would go bad. He had always wanked to the villains not the supers. Not that he is bad, they even pay their taxes, but still. Ex Super Villain’s boy toy is still what many think is a come down. Sure they were married, but he absolutely felt like a kept man some days.

“Eggsy where did you go?” Merlin had stepped back a bit.

Bugger. “Sorry, just got thinking about our life.” He smiled. “Good to go.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Eggsy said. “Just happy I’m a super villain’s boy toy.”

Merlin snorted at that. “Ready?” Eggsy nodded and smiled when Merlin gave him a quick soft kiss. He then switched back to intense villain mode. It was so fucking sexy how he could do that in an instant. “I don’t need hypnotic powers for you, Loyalty. I’ve seen the way you look at me. And one of my Knight’s has read your mind. Not that it is hard, you telegraph certain thoughts so very loudly. Would you like me to tell you what he has heard?” 

Eggsy moaned when Merlin’s hands sank into his hair and tugged his head back. Back in the day, Merlin really should have just gone for the chains and leather trousers like he was now. Every goddamn person in England would have immediately gone full evil for him. “Never thought nothing of you, but that you were nothing compared to the supers. Beat you every time, didn’t we?”

Merlin bit his lower lip and Eggsy’s knees turned to jelly. He would have hit the ground, but Merlin’s hands in his hair kept him up. It tugged and pulled in the best way. “Would you like to know a secret?”

"Sure?"

“I let Captain beat me. Because while he was distracted with me, my knights were busy steal a great deal of money from around the world. I put on a good show, they get the goods. Worked out well. Plus it let me see you.”

“You are a creeper.”

“A bit,” Merlin agreed. Eggsy had to stay in character, and not admit he kinda loved Merlin’s obsessive tendencies. First time anyone had cared enough about him to be obsessive. It felt good. “But better than a fucking wanker like the Captain.”

Okay that was completely fair.

Still. “Captain finds out I spent time with you, he won’t be pleased, League of Heroes will be right pissed.” That was the wrong thing to say, meant he was thinking about whatever this was going to be.

“He’ll never know. They’ll never know. Let me make you feel good, Eggsy. Let me pay my debt.”

Eggsy licked his lips. “Haven’t done this much, Captain doesn’t really allow for a social life.”

“Leave everything to me, just enjoy.” Merlin sank to his knees.

“What are you doing?” Eggsy let his voice be breathless, confused, like how he was the first time Merlin dropped to his knees. “Shouldn’t you be having me do that?”

“Now how would sucking my cock be worshiping you?” Merlin asked. “Do you like hot or cold?”

“Hot?” Eggsy said. It was a replay of their first conversation like that.

Merlin’s hands were warm, incredibly warm when the touched his old uniform. “What to see a neat trick?”

“You gonna juggle?”

Merlin laughed and that sound became immediately seared into his soul. He had never done quite that laugh in a sex moment before and Eggsy felt it in his veins. “No, this,” he replied, and those fingers grew hot and someone burned the spandex off of Eggsy’s skin but never burned Eggsy himself. “See villainy? Allows you to wear pants under the uniform. Less spandex. Can you picture me in tights?”

Eggsy broke character enough to giggle at that. “I cannot, babe.” Merlin pinched his hip. “Yeah yeah.” He cleared his throat. “Oh my god, why did you do that, what am I going to wear when I leave here? Do you know much trouble I am going to be in?”

“You’ll be wearing my teeth marks, my come, and well, I suppose we will find you a pair of trackies.”

Eggsy pretended to try to step away, but Merlin’s hands were warm with his magic and clutching his arse and then his mouth just as hot was sucking on his cock. No teasing, no soft kisses or nuzzles like usual. No praise and soft words, in a moment the whole of his cock was in Merlin’s mouth and he was sucking hard. “Fuck!” Eggsy shouted. Merlin pulled back and sank down again. “This in villain training? I picked the wrong goddamn path,” Eggsy groaned. He tried to catch his breath, but he couldn’t. Merlin was going at this in a whole new way. And the contrast to the Merlin who was his and this shadow of whom he used to be, had Eggsy’s head swimming. “So much,” he managed to say. “Less, more? Please? Something?” He had no clue what he was saying, only that the pleasure was overwhelming. Merlin was relentless and Eggsy was shocked at how close he was slipping to the edge. “Slow down, I’m going to come.” But he didn’t, he just kept sucking and when Merlin swallowed around his cock, Eggsy saw stars, and Merlin swallowed every drop.

This time when his knees gave out, Merlin let him sink to the ground. Eggsy drifted on the happy post orgasm feeling, could feel Merlin drifting fingers over his skin, a mix of cold and hot tracing random patterns on his stomach, his thighs. “Over too quick,” Eggsy said.

“Now now, who said it was over, that is hardly a debt paid, that is just the beginning.”

Eggsy looked in him in confusion. “Huh?”

“You once dreamed of having a villain just wrecking you. And oh look you are in a villain’s clutches now.”

Eggsy’s eyes widened. “I need to go.”

“Where?” Merlin asked, and rolled on top of him. “No one cares, certainly not the Captain. Loyalty, you are in my clutches, and by the time I am through with you, you’ll beg me to keep you.”

“I might not always agree with the Captain, but you could never offer me anything that would make me turn bad.” Eggsy’s words were hard, but it was rather ruined by the dopey smile he was giving his husband. 

“Let me test that, shall we?” Merlin got up and undid the leather trousers. “Another neat trick,” he said and with a snap of his fingers they were off. He was just in the leather boots were really just magic modified 12 hole docs, black boxer briefs, and the chains that wrapped around his arms.

“That is not fucking fair,” Eggsy said. 

“You are right, I will not be fucking fair at all,” Merlin agreed and hauled him up. In a moment Eggsy found himself draped face first over the pommel horse between the handles. “I would recommend you not move.”

“Or what?” Eggsy challenged.

“Or I won’t lick you open,” Merlin replied.

“Bwah?” Eggsy managed to say, still a little loopy from the orgasm. He let Merlin move his body how he wanted and melted even more if it was possible as Merlin made his hands warm and massaged his thighs. Eggsy was always a complete goner for thigh massages.

“Eggsy, the chains are pulling at my arm hair a bit. I know you are digging the look, but please say I can take them off?”

“But sexy villain,” Eggsy whined a little.

“Very well.”

Eggsy smiled. Merlin really did never say no to him. “It’s okay, don’t want to lose the little bit of hair you do have, do we?” He jolted against the pommel horse with the swat that Merlin gave his thigh. His legs were spread apart more and he heard the chains clink to the ground but then they were moved and were quickly wrapped around his ankles and the legs of the pommel horses. “Oi!”

“You wiggle too much when I do this,” Merlin replied. “Holding you in place.”

“Okay valid, and kinky!”

“At this point can we give up the pretense?” Merlin’s teeth sank into his left arse cheek and Eggsy cursed. He had to have the most sensitive arse in the whole country. Eggsy had wanted Merlin to spank him one time to see what it was like, he thought it might be neat, and he was just too damn sensitive for it. But they had learned the perfect line of what he enjoyed, and that was Merlin biting him. Eggsy tensed and then just sank against the pommel horse, stopped the arch away and pushed towards Merlin.

“I know we are rubbish at this, but it is fun,” Eggsy said. “Please?”

“Always, anything,” Merlin swore. “You know your arse was actually the first thing I noticed about you,” he said back in his villain voice. “Supers have surprisingly rubbish arses. But yours, yours I will also become a good man for.”

“Would you?”

“Sorry lad, I am rotten down to the core.” Merlin bit just a bit above the other bite. “No helping it. Never going to be an anti-hero or switch sides. No enemy of my enemy business. Being bad pays the bills more. And I am very very good at being naughty.” Another bite and Eggsy found himself stirring a bit against the material of the pommel horse. “Let’s see if we can get you hard again.”

“Too soon,” Eggsy was disappointed.

“Trust me, lad. Villains are the best fucks as well.” And Merlin’s hands adjusted him exactly like how he wanted and Eggsy felt Merlin breathe against his hole. He tensed, as he always did, because it was just odd if you thought about it. But the second he stopped thinking and just enjoyed, it was the best thing ever. 

The first lick always made Eggsy giggle, the absurdity of it, the sensation so odd, but by the third he was sighing in contentment. Merlin lapped at his hole, not trying to press in, move this quickly, which was funny because twenty minutes ago he had been all about the quick. He switched between licks and teeth against the cheeks, and soon enough, far sooner than Eggsy thought, he wasn’t just stirring but growing hard. “Feels nice,” he said quietly. No one would hear them but it felt wrong to be loud right now. “Why are you making me feel nice? You are the bad guy.”

“Because I want to,” Merlin replied and his tongue grew firmly, lapping at the rim of his hole, encouraging it to spread, open up. Eggsy closed his eyes and just sank into the sensation completely. If he wasn’t against the pommel horse, his dick would be standing up. Was a bit uncomfortable if he was honest, but in a good way. “Ready?”

“For what?” Eggsy asked and Merlin’s tongue pushed in just a bit. “Fucking hell. Cock sucking jesus christ, bloody sainted orifices.”

“Now that is not something I have heard before,” Merlin said. He bit where arse met thigh, and went back to what he was doing until Eggsy was babbling. “You make such pretty noises Loyalty. Almost wish I was recording this, so I could wank to them every night.”

“Oooh we really should play with making videos more,” Eggsy said.

“A talk for another time,” Merlin said and pressed his tongue in more.

“Yuuuupppppp,” Eggsy said. “Everyone would immediately support the villains if they knew how good you were at this.” There was just a dark laugh against his skin, and holy fuck a finger tip pressed in along with the tongue, and his cock dripped a bit of precome against the pommel horse and onto the ground. He whimpered when Merlin pulled his mouth away. “More? Please?”

“Of course.” 

He heard the sound of a top being flipped and a slick finger pressed into him, sinking in without hesitation. It was heaven. Merlin pushed the finger in and out and when he pulled it out completely he began to lick again and Eggsy saw black and was just floating. Then it was two fingers and Merlin was pressing against his prostate. Relentlessly pressing. All capability of thought was just gone for Eggsy and when Merlin sank his teeth over the first mark on Eggsy’s arse, as he stroked the prostate, Eggsy found himself coming again. He spilled much less that the first orgasm and his dick felt sore, and he was pretty sure he was never moving from where he was again. The chains were pulled away from his ankles and he was pulled into Merlin’s lap and snuggled in. They had to be done now.

“Hmmm, which one of us is going to clean that small mess up?” Merlin asked, still in that dark voice. His cock was hard under Eggsy’s arse. 

“You do it. Make me come like that twice, you clean up the mess,” Eggsy pouted at him. “Not gonna do it.”

“Very well,” Merlin agreed and moved Eggsy over to a mat.

“Oh my fucking god,” Eggsy said. He was pretty sure his eyes had never been as wide as they were then. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Cleaning the area up,” Merlin replied and licked Eggsy’s come up.

“Fucccckkkk,” Eggsy groaned, because really it should be kinda gross watching that and his brain was trying to tell his cock to get hard again and his cock was basically shouting I’m trying but we’ve never dealt with this before so shut up. Merlin finished licking his come and then goddamn crawled over to him. “How the fuck is that fair?”

“I’m a villain, Loyalty,” Merlin reminded him. “Who said I was ever going to play fair. I’d like to fuck you now.”

“No,” Eggsy whimpered and Merlin immediately froze and backed up a little. “Remember we talked about this babe, no isn’t no, remember no is ‘pigeons’. Keep going.” He watched Merlin collect himself back to the game and melted. God he loved his husband. “My body can’t handle more, if you rail me, I’ll die.”

“Not railing,” Merlin promised and Eggsy sighed as Merlin began at his ankles and kissed his way slowly up his body, hands warm as they traced over his skin. “Don’t think, Loyalty, just enjoy.”

“Eggsy, my name is Eggsy yeah?”

“I know, Eggsy.” Merlin lay the gentlest of kisses on his cock, which tried to twitch but was just so damn sensitive.

“If you suck my cock right now, I’ll do…something. I have some skills you know.” 

“I won’t suck.” Merlin instead sank his mouth down onto Eggsy’s cock and just let it rest against his tongue.

Eggsy floated. At first that felt too much because he was tense waiting for Merlin to make him hard again, but he didn’t. Merlin just lay between Eggsy’s legs resting Eggsy’s cock in his mouth. It was just great. He wasn’t sure how long it was, but he reached down and tapped Merlin’s head. “The thing we talked about babe, do it.”

“Are you sure?” Merlin frowned at him. 

This was a thing Merlin had wanted to try, and Eggsy had been hesitant about. But this had been so fucking fantastic and perfect, well mostly perfect it was them so of course a couple things had gone silly, and he wanted Merlin as happy as he was. “Do it,” Eggsy said firmly. He then made himself shiver. “You aren’t going to use your electricity powers on me are you?”

“Is that fear or hope I hear in your voice, Eggsy?”

“I don’t know,” Eggsy replied. “You wouldn’t hurt me, would you?”

“Not in anyway you didn’t want.” And then there was the tiniest jolt as Merlin pressed an electrified finger to Eggsy’s thigh. It was a buzz, like when you touch a live light socket. Everything tingled. Eggsy gave a small nod and that jolt was delivered to his balls.

“Holy fucking hell!” Eggsy shouted and it overrode everything else his body thought and made him hard again. It hurt being hard like that, but he also loved it. He had wanted Merlin to just use him for forever but it had been difficult to convey, and here they were and it was everything he had wanted, and Merlin was getting to worship him like how the man enjoyed. Everyone was winning today. “Fuck me, Wizard of Hell,” Eggsy said. Demanded.

“Mmmm, I like how you say that. Are you sure I have to return you to the Captain. Could keep you? A pretty room, shower you in gifts, fuck you every day. Chain you up to my bed? Think about it.”

Eggsy shook his head. “I can’t go bad.”

“Oh darling, you already have.” Merlin stood and pushed on his pants and stroked his cock for show, he was well hard from everything he had been doing to Eggsy. 

“Can I suck your cock?” Eggsy asked.

“Next time.”

“There won’t be a next time,” Eggsy protested.

“Oh yes, there will be,” Merlin chuckled and Eggsy swore just that dark noise had precome leaking from his abused cock. He lay down and lubed his cock. “Now then, let’s see how you feel around my dick, lad, because you felt wonderful against my tongue.”

Eggsy cursed as Merlin pushed into him, stretching him, filling him completely. When Merlin still Eggsy smiled happily up at him. “Hi,” he giggled a bit. Being fucked to the end of sanity was so much better than weed.

“Hello, my love,” Merlin said and kissed his nose. He started to move a slow and steady pace. He didn’t rush this, just took his time, which impressed Eggsy. Because the man had to be desperate to come after all he had done to Eggsy, but he was relishing the moment. “Oh but you feel very good, Eggsy. I will nae be letting you go. I’m sorry about that. You are mine now.”

“I think I am okay with that,” Eggsy whispered. Merlin moved so he could wrap a hand around Eggsy’s cock and it hurt and felt good and Eggsy just wanted and couldn’t. But maybe he could. He wasn’t sure. “One more?” he asked and there was just the barest hint of electricity all around his cock, more like you walked your feet over carpet funny and built up a charge. Merlin bit his shoulder and the orgasm hit him as hard as a poor third orgasm could, and Eggsy didn’t black out but it was close as the small bit of come he had left spilled over Merlin’s hand and onto him. At this point Merlin picked up the pace and it was brutal because he was so damn sensitive but he wanted one more thing. “Can you come on me, claim me?”

“Oh, Eggsy, you are never ever leaving my clutches,” Merlin promised, warned.

“Good,” Eggsy replied. He felt Merlin pull out and watched Merlin stroke hard and spill all over Eggsy’s chest and stomach. “Pretty villain.”

“Beautiful sidekick. Look what a mess you are.” Merlin lay down next to him on the mats and pressed a couple fingers into Eggsy’s hole. “Fuck the feel of you is brilliant.”

“Can’t do more.”

“Just to anchor your for a moment.”

“Brought a plug right?”

“Just as you asked for, though wasn’t it supposed to keep my come in you?”

“Slight change of plans due to the heat of the moment. Still want.” Merlin’s fingers pulled out and a moment later silicone pushed in. “Thanks.”

“Anything.”

“Hang on, gotta finish this all proper like,” Eggsy said and tilted his head to look at Merlin. “The Captain would come for me.”

“Let him, and he’ll see everything I’ve been holding back. Say it and I’ll claim you forever. You’ll never hurt again. You will be cared for, worshiped, indulge, live an actual good life.” Merlin gave him a hard kiss. “Say the word and you never will be unwanted or canon fodder again.”

“Keep me,” Eggsy whispered.

“It is done,” Merlin promised and scooped him up. He walked towards their elevator, and sent them down to their flat.

“You’ll go clean up after?”

“I will.”

Eggsy began to giggle. “You still have your boots on.” He leaned his head against Merlin’s shoulder and couldn’t stop laughing. He felt exhausted and gross and perfect. He sort of drifted, barely awake as Merlin gave him a bath. Eggsy whined a bit when the plug was pulled out but Merlin gave him some pain au chocolat, feeding him little bits, and then dried him off, and put him in their bed. “You know if you had played it like this, we could have been together sooner.”

“Eggsy, you would have never joined a villain, no matter how good a fuck I am. I had Percival search future possible time lines, and in none of them did you join me while I was a villain. When I was sure of that, that is when we all began the retirement process.”

“Makes is sound like you gave up world domination for me.”

“To be fair, never really wanted world domination, just to be rich as fuck,” Merlin replied.

“I never asked, the whole crew was okay with that?”

“No, I had to kill a couple Knights, and transferred a couple to some other villains, but my core people agreed.”

“To give up everything because you liked my arse.” 

“Because I liked you,” Merlin said and tucked him in. “And because we are family and stick together.”

“Weird.”

“Well we were villains, who ever said we were sane?” Merlin stroked his hair. “You should nap. I’ll go clean the gym and then come back.”

“K.” Eggsy looked at him. “You are a better man than the Captain any day.”

Merlin snorted a bit. “It is sweet that you have decided to believe that.”

“Haven’t killed anyone in a year have you. Only fleece people via legal means. Close enough to good for me.” Eggsy pushed a hand out and Merlin took it. “Love you Wizard of Hell.”

“I love you too, Lieutenant Loyalty.”

“Next time we play like that, you get to pick.” Eggsy burrowed into the blankets.

“Mmm, interesting.”

“Can you make cinnamon rolls tomorrow?” Eggsy yawned and his abused body was telling him to sleep and he was ready to listen.

“If you like, I can make them now once I clean the gym, so that you can wake to the smell of cinnamon and yeast.”

“Perfect.”

“Aye, you are.”

Eggsy didn’t know about that, but he’d let Merlin think whatever he wanted. Who could stop a former villain anyway?


End file.
